I’ve written about goals and resolutions before. In general, I’m thoughtfully skeptical about becoming too tied to a goal or resolution- because things change, and goals need to always be changing too. I’ve made & kept plenty of goals that weren’t particularly beneficial to me in the long run.
this year, I chose to deal with a thought pattern. So there is no need for me to do anything- just notice that worrying pattern strumming through my head- and stop it.
the only useful resolution I made before- that I’ve found longer term enjoyment from- was to learn German. And, like most useful, enjoyable changes- all that took was setting it into motion, and letting inertia take over.
It seems counter-productive to have to force oneself to do anything. that internal effort of force indicates that the goal is at-odds with our inner needs. Even something addictive and complex- smoking, eating too much, etc- is filling that inner need. & quitting/changing will require that force of will to be used in conflict with oneself.
it’s that internal conflict that I want to avoid. I’m not entirely sure of the proper place for ‘willpower’. it’s too easy to abuse it/ and hurt yourself and others.
when I think of my life- and using will to achieve something or change something- there’s a sense of internal splitting off, as if one part of my consciousness goes to sleep and avoids the situation. While the will-force part stays awake, and with an almost angry energy- goes to work.
It makes me sad to think of functioning that way.
but: I do worry a lot. about inconsequential things, about big things, about things that might happen a month from now, about things I have no control over. and that is something I can change, by recognizing it and choosing to stop. and since the feedback loop is short and it’s enjoyable to stop worrying- I figure that inertia will take over.