here’s what being an introvert feels like:  loud, crowded environments make your skin crawl and uncomfortably increase the level of adrenaline in your body.

Making small talk hurts, in a synethesic kind of way. talking in general is dully uncomfortable, unless you know the other person very well.

even being around people you like, for several hours straight, is exhausting.

all of these elements are well documented.  I’m just thinking about it because of how it affects my business. and my social life, for that matter.

you know, when I describe it, introversion really does sound like a psychological illness, though I don’t believe it to be.

but you know, I like people!  it’s just the initial getting-to-know-you stage that is so uncomfortable.  Once we’re past that I’m a great friend, and usually quite interested in organizing dinners, coffee, or other stuff.

just not in loud places.

sometimes I think about moving to nyc and then remember every place is loud.

Posted by:brook delorme

6 replies on “introversion

  1. Introverts get their energy from solitude and contemplation rather than from other people. It’s just another way to be. It’s actually much more common in most countries, and in places like Japan and Britain, it’s actually the norm. Americans tend to be atypically extroverted when compared to the rest of the world.

    1. hi ZZ- interesting observation. I actually though the introvert/ extrovert population split was generally 25/75% – I’m surprised it would be so significantly different in other countries!

  2. Back in the days I remember an instance of going to the store to buy something and leaving before I went inside. I didn’t know how to deal with all the people.

    Over time I made small (definitely conscious) progress. Now I usually do fine in loud public places. Sometimes I revert to my old ways and shut down. And I still get a bit of anxiety on initial entrance to a place with lots of people, but usually it melts away quickly.

    That said, I need to be alone, and in silence for that matter, much more than most people. I can’t work well with people around and being around people day in and day out is still exhausting. Building small online businesses for the past 11 years has probably been my defense mechanism against having to work with people face to face. I never actually thought about that until now.

    As ZZ pointed out, it’s just another way to be. No worries. :)

    1. hi Karol :) yup, totally understand!

      it’s funny, just yesterday it was pointed out to me, after I described my refusal to do any talk-therapy (after years of trying it with various people, without particularly much success) that this might actually have to do with the introvert/extrovert split. Talk therapy, to me, seems useless- since I don’t want/need to process shit out loud with an unbiased, uninvolved party. Whereas I can see how the extroverted type would benefit from exactly that, hence why talk therapy works for so many people…

      you know, people will say that they changed over their life from being introverted to extroverted, or vice versa, due to circumstances- but I think the core element of the quality- being whether a person processes thoughts out loud/ in dialogue or internally- doesn’t change. one can, like you did- grow more accustomed to being in public- but the core tendency to think internally probably hasn’t shifted…

      :)

      1. “…the core tendency to think internally probably hasn’t shifted”

        Yeah, I would agree with that.

        ###

        I’d never heard the term talk-therapy before, but after looking it up I see I’m familiar with it. I feel the same as you. As you pointed out, talking about something with someone who is unbiased and uninvolved doesn’t *seem* like it would help. That said, I never tried it so who knows. I’m not anti-talk-therapy. :)

        What honestly helped me most was getting pissed at myself for not doing things due to anxiety or whatever else was going on in my head. It was still a slow process, but it worked very well.

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