Or, not so secret, just sensible:
Good relationships have partners with complementary skill-sets and similar values.
It took me a long time to understand the meaning of the word values. It’s one of those words that requires life experience to understand, even if you can parrot back the definition.
For instance, these are value continuums- they are a zero sum game. An increase in one leads to a decrease in the other. Of course, it’s possible to find a happy point of comfort somewhere between the two poles.
Freedom || Equality
Creativity || Stability
Optimism || Pessimism
Skill-sets is a much simpler concept. Everyone understands skill-sets.
Daniel is good at talking to people and making them like him. I’m always surprised by how he can maintain and emotional cool and apparent interest in the opinions of other in the midst of a conversation about politics, which to me feels like the sky falling.
He’s good at business system-design.
I’m good at not-suffering-fools. I’m good at focus.