When I was 18 or 19 I made the choice to live a city life. This was partially informed, but not totally, by experience. I had dipped my toe into the full-time climbing car-camping dirtbag lifestyle, and it interested me, but the city had a certain appeal that was hard to look away from. So shiny! So much success!
(fyi: dirtbag is a term of respect in the climbing community. It indicates someone who is frequently dirty because they are mostly outside.)
Plus, I wanted to go to art school. And study fashion. Not really possible to do in a campground, or on the side of a cliff.
And so I went. And thank god I did, because that’s where Daniel was too.
But the cities have grown more and more oppressive. The weight of other people’s opinions, constantly and loudly proclaimed, can grind one down into either submission and conformance, or escape.
Anyway, these have been the thoughts on my mind over the past many months, and it’s time for a change.
Changes seem to be happening so quickly, it’s like they whir by and get considered, implemented, or discarded within days.
A few of the experiments I’ve been running during my last couple months of radio silence:
- Going without coffee, the one consumable vice that I have, and really, really like. Not having vices is boring. I took a
two monthfive month break from coffee to see if it would improve my anxiety. It has seemed to. I’m drinking it again, but at a lower level.I’m only sipping the top of husband’s lattes.
- Changing handwriting.
- Figuring out a completely new, outdoors lifestyle.
- Changing habits and routines. Any sort of routine I’m running- like where I sit during morning meditation, and how that program works- just changing it. It doesn’t matter to what, just as long as it’s new. The idea here is that we get caught in ruts, slumps, or negative grooves, and keep digging ourselves deeper with each repetition.